Journey
Freedom hasn't come without a steep price for me. Fleeing persecution in Iran in 1996, I embarked on a relentless struggle. By 2005, the UN granted me refugee status in Bangkok, Thailand, and in 2009, I finally settled in the U.S.
My series of representational figurative paintings, "Journey," captures my quest for freedom. It spans three periods of my life. The first portrays my early life in Iran, marked by confinement due to post-1979 revolution restrictions and human rights violations. The second depicts my years of displacement in Thailand, waiting for resettlement while grappling with instability.
The third part delves into my sense of longing—an exile's reality. It delves into the alienation and separation from loved ones that comes with life in a new country. "Journey" is a visual diary revealing the challenges, isolation, and yearning experienced throughout my path to freedom.
I was only nine when the revolution ended and the Islamic government was established.
Almost immediately after the victory, violence burst onto the streets. Waves of arrests and executions of resistors swept across the nation by the revolutionaries which placed Iran into a state of chaos. At the same time, Iraq took advantage of the disorder and isolation of Iran's new government, and advanced against the border, taking Iran by surprise.
Open warfare began on September 22, 1980, a year after the revolution. I still sometimes have nightmares that I am running away for my life while under air attack.
Some of my earliest memories during the war are sounds of the air raid sirens. There was no place to hide. I could hear the sound of the anti-aircraft guns and wonder if we would survive this time around.
Life without freedom under post 1979 revolution's restrictions was like living in confinement.
Facing persecution in pursuit of freedom, finally, I left my homeland and began a journey of constant struggle that lasted fourteen years. Ultimately, after several failed attempts in various countries in Europe and Southeast Asia, I end up in Thailand and eventually, I had no choice but to seek asylum through the United Nations.
There were days I had to fight for my life. On my darkest days my faith helped me and gave me the strength to keep going.
Eventually, after I was granted refugee status, I had to wait for an indefinite period to be resettled. Every day for five years, I waited for a phone call to tell me when and where I would relocate. Every day after office hours my hope would turn to sadness. Waiting can be frustrating when you can't anticipate how long it's going to last.
Refugees are not legally recognized in Thailand. Therefore, I was detained before my departure, for legal process. The humiliation of being treated like a criminal was much harder to deal with than the horrible conditions.
Leaving my son behind was the most heartbreaking experience I have ever had.
Although I came to America in hopes of a better life, I was not met without hardships and difficulties.
Shortly after my arrival in the United States, just when I finally thought life was going to get better, on a bright sunny Valentine's Day, I was hit by a car while waiting at the bus stop. It took me months to recover.
Although I remained steadfast to my dream, it was put on hold while destiny provided a new route, which was to serve in the United States Army.
When I was losing hope to pursue my dream, unexpectedly I was able to retire from the U.S. army after multiple service-connected injuries which opened up the opportunity for me to pursue my passion for art at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco.
They are days that I am overwhelmed with sadness and longing for home and to be with loved one whom I deeply miss.
So much has happened since I decided to leave Iran. If someone were to ask me if it was worth all the struggle, I would say yes. If I hadn't taken the risk to leave home and endure the hardship, I would have missed out on living my dream.
My Latest Paintings
Drawings
